Once we’ve RECOGNIZED the dueling voices inside of us, and we’ve figured out how to REPLACE the lies of the “Selfie” with the truth of Scripture, the next step is to REPORT it. When you report to someone your struggles and tendencies it BREAKS the power of sin and “Selfie” in your life. You and I are only as SICK as our SECRETS. James 5:16 says “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” From what Scripture indicates, you and I can’t experience healing in our lives until we REPORT to someone else where we fall short.
There is a principle to keep in mind when it comes to REPORTING. The severity of the sin determines the situation of the report. Some things are very personal and private and only close, trusted friends who love Jesus AND love you should get this report. Some things you can share with quite a few people. Let me go over just a few ways that reporting can happen in a healthy manner:
This is a SAME GENDER, close, trusted friend that you can share EVERYTHING with. Again, this person must (in this order) love Jesus AND love you. If they just love Jesus and don’t love you, they will never be able to emotionally connect with walking with you through struggles. If they just love you and don’t love Jesus, they will help you excuse the sin that will, in the long run, destroy you.
I have an accountability partner (and incidentally best friend) whom I talk to on the phone every Tuesday morning from 7am-8am. We both cherish this time, and we would move heaven and earth to make it happen regularly. Sometimes we talk about struggles, sometimes we talk about joys, sometimes we talk about defeats, and sometimes we talk about victories. The point is he knows every lie I have a tendency to believe, and he helps me replace those lies with truth. He has the freedom to ask me ANY question, no matter how difficult, and I have to give account for that question. He sees everything I look at on the internet (desktop, mobile, or tablet). There is nothing that goes on in my life without his knowledge. One principle my mentor taught me: The more public your platform the more public your life has to be. He sees it all and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This protects me and my family more than you could ever know.
A support group is great for people who are working through addictions or just doing life with people of similar walks and stages of life. This could be a small group, an AA group, a study group, etc. The point is you’re walking through life together and being open about your struggles in an environment that is judgement-free and trusting. You’re not going to share with a support group ALL the gory details of EVERY dark place in your heart like you would with an accountability partner, but as long as everyone has agreed upon the purpose of the group you can go fairly deep .
Everyone should be a part of Church community, however this is not the best environment to report all your sin struggles. Church community should be an environment where you receive what I call STIRRING and SPURRING. When we gather to worship together I get stirred up! When I hear God’s Word being preached in a way that I can understand, I get stirred up. When I serve alongside people I get stirred up! When I see people decide to follow Jesus during an invitation I get stirred up! Sometimes these environments also SPUR me to follow Jesus more closely. Spurring (like a horse getting spurred) can be uncomfortable but necessary to keep me on course! This environment helps to remind you that you’re not the only one fighting the “Selfie” but others are in the battle with you!
- Davey Blackburn
Davey Blackburn is the lead pastor of Resonate Church. You can find him on Twitter at @daveyblackburn.